by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Dec 17, 2013 | Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Relationships
It’s holiday time and gift-giving is on everyone’s mind. But how about those intangible gifts that are not wrapped up in packages and tied with a bow?
Time is one of them. When you carve out the time to mentor someone it is indeed a very special gift. Your gift of time tells that person that they matter to you, and that you value them. On the other hand, when you repeatedly postpone or cancel meetings, it sends a different message– my time is too valuable for you, our time together isn’t important or you are not worth the investment of my time.
Remember Stephen Covey’s Four Quadrant Model? Covey makes the distinction between urgent and not urgent activities and those things that are important and not important. Urgent and important items are the crises, pressing problems and deadlines that get most of our attention. We tend to put off things that are deemed important, but are not urgent – like mentoring and personal development. Because they lack urgency nothing compels us to act immediately. Like many people, you might find yourself putting mentoring on the back burner, confident that you will get to it when the crisis du jour is over. Even with the best of intentions you don’t, because sooner or later another crisis takes its place.
If you are waiting to find the time to give to mentoring others, forget it. You will never find the time unless you make sure you make it a priority. Time has a way of slipping by and with it goes the opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life.
What You Can Do
- Put mentoring dates and time on your calendar well in advance.
- Commit making time for mentoring a priority.
- If you have to reschedule, do it ASAP.
- Select the tasks, assignments, decisions, etc. you can delegate to someone else so you can free up your calendar. (Ideally, your delegation should provide an opportunity for someone else to grow and develop.)
- Use planning and time management strategies to make good use of the time you do have.
Questions to Consider
- Where does the priority of mentoring currently fit in your world?
- Who could really benefit from quality time with you?
- How available and accessible are you to the people who need you?
- What tasks are you doing now that someone else could do?
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Mar 17, 2013 | Mentoring Relationships
Every mentee who participates in a mentoring program where matches are made for them hopes that their mentor will be a perfect match.
While some formal programs make the matches for mentees, many solicit mentee input or top choices before the final match is made. Some programs provide support and resources, but leave the sole discretion for mentor selection to the mentee.
The hope for a perfect match springs eternal. Whether you are responsible for pairing mentors and mentees, or looking for a mentor yourself, there are many criteria to consider. In this blog, we highlight four of them. These factors impact how a mentor and mentee relate to each other and affect the long-term success of the relationship.
1. Attitude and Values
Mentees report a greater level of satisfaction from their mentoring relationship when they share similar values and attitudes with their mentor. These points of connection, discovered early in the relationship, help the mentee and mentor bond and develop trust more quickly. Mentors connect more easily with a mentee who shares similar work values and attitudes (i.e. work ethic, focus on organizational benefit). On the flipside, having similar attitudes and values sometimes limits exposure to a diversity of perspectives. If mentor and mentee both share sensitivity to employee feelings, for example, there might not be as much gain in areas of accountability and conflict management.
2. Style
Style is the manner someone uses to influence others and convey information. It is sometimes used as a synonym for “personality.” Style is about “how” someone delivers a message. It is a strong determining factor in how someone is perceived regarding their approachability, intimidation, friendliness, or coolness. Style can play an overly important role in the selection of a mentor. While opposites can attract, that may not be the case at the beginning of a mentoring relationship. Style differences —soft or hard, informal or formal, head v. heart, left-brained or right-brained, optimistic or pessimistic—play out in the way the mentee receives feedback and support.
Similarity in style increases the mentee’s comfort and ease in navigating a new relationship. When the mentor and mentee share similar styles, a preference for analysis and detail, for example, the mentee is more likely to satisfy their mentor’s expectations. On the other hand, differences can produce significant learning for both mentor and mentee. The detailed-oriented, analytical mentee may be served better by a mentor with a more global, big picture perspective. A mentee who is conflict averse may benefit from a relationship with a mentor with a more direct style.
3. Learning Fit
Learning is the purpose of mentoring. It is why people engage in the relationship, what they do while they are in it, and what they want out of. Ultimately it is the learning fit that is important. Is there a match between what the mentee needs/wants to learn and what the mentor has to offer (experience, expertise, etc.)?
Mentors don’t have to be subject matter experts in the area the mentee is focused on, but they do have to understand the goals, challenges and requirements the mentee faces to ensure accountability for results. Recently, a mentor, the director of customer service, helped his mentee, the director of construction, learn how to improve his team’s engagement and ownership. Expertise and experience were aligned with the mentee’s goals and needs, not the mentee’s technical field.
4. Time
Good intention alone does not ensure good mentoring. Even when values, style and learning fit match perfectly, a mentoring relationship can be compromised when the mentor doesn’t have or make the time to commit to the partnership. Mentees look to mentors to act as sounding boards, encourage them to test out ideas, to “be there for them,” and provide a safety net. All of this requires regularly scheduled meetings, ad hoc availability for questions, occasional check-ins and a continuum of feedback. Time is the biggest challenge for busy mentors, but it is the glue that holds the relationship together. Most importantly, it sends an important message to the mentee: YOU matter.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Apr 29, 2011 | Mentoring Relationships
GenXers wanted to be valued for their individuality. They seek work-life balance. They want opportunities to build new skills and are whizzes at multitasking, having developed the capacity to process of lots of information simultaneously. They want to be challenged at work and not micromanaged. Feedback on their performance and recognition of their contribution are important to them.
If you are mentoring a Gen-Xer, you will want to keep the following eight strategies in mind: (more…)
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Apr 18, 2011 | Mentoring Relationships
As Boomers find themselves seeking new ways to work, taking on different responsibilities, and moving to other roles, they turn to mentoring to help them close their knowledge gaps. They look for mentors who have specific subject matter expertise and tend to prefer hands-on learning experiences. They value individual achievement, recognition and feedback. (more…)
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Apr 11, 2011 | Mentoring Relationships
GenYs look for mentors who can offer them hands-on experiences that will empower them to take the next step. They prefer positive, collaborative, achievement-oriented mentors who will take them seriously. They naturally seek mentoring because they see their growth and development as a priority. (more…)
Remember Stephen Covey’s Four Quadrant Model? Covey makes the distinction between urgent and not urgent activities and those things that are important and not important. Urgent and important items are the crises, pressing problems and deadlines that get most of our attention. We tend to put off things that are deemed important, but are not urgent – like mentoring and personal development. Because they lack urgency nothing compels us to act immediately. Like many people, you might find yourself putting mentoring on the back burner, confident that you will get to it when the crisis du jour is over. Even with the best of intentions you don’t, because sooner or later another crisis takes its place.
