We want others to be worthy of our trust and become resentful when, by their actions or lack thereof, they breach our trust. We then expect them to repair the relationship. When we don’t see them making an effort to do so, we become even more disillusioned. It appears that much harder to reconcile the breach.
Regaining trust is an essential leadership activity. Don’t wait for others to make the first move. Leaders lead. They do not wait for others to make the first move.
Try this Trust Building Activity
Remember the movie, “Meet the Folkers”? The highlight of the movie was Robert DeNiro talking about his “Circle of Trust”. At a recent weeklong leadership retreat we asked our clients reflect on their own relationships with management, peers, direct reports, colleagues, vendors. Each person was instructed to create their own “circle of trust,” and to include within only those they absolutely trusted. Most could only identify a few people.
Your Circle of Trust – Six Steps
- Think about people in both your personal and professional life that you need to and want to trust, but don’t. Limit your names to the top 2-3.
- Stop thinking the problem is “out there.” Trust is a two-way street. Each person contributes to the erosion of the relationship. Identify how you might have contributed to lowering the trust level in the relationship.
- Imagine how much more effective, creative, happy and successful you could be if those people were inside your “circle of trust.”
- Identify 2-3 action strategies that you can initiate over the next few months to strengthen and build back your trust level for each person you put on your list.
- Monitor your progress.
- Add or modify strategies as necessary.
- After a period of time, reassess your trust quotient with each person.
6. Select new relationships to work on (step 1) and repeat (steps 4 and 5).
See http://www.leadservs.com/otherservices.php for information about workshops that we to facilitate the trust building process.
