by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Mar 21, 2016 | Goal Setting Conversation, Growth and Development, Mentoring Relationships, Supporting Mentors and Mentees
The Importance of the First 90 Days
It’s a fact: The first 90 days sets the tone for your mentoring relationships! According to Lory Fischler, co-author of Starting Strong (Jossey-Bass 2014), “Many mentoring relationships don’t actually survive the three-month milestone. That’s because they start with good intention and energy but get derailed by lack of time, structure, purpose, progress and accountability.”
We’ve identified six essential conversations that we believe ought to take place during the first 90 days of a mentoring relationship to ensure that it starts strong and stays focused. These conversations set the tone for mentoring success.
Conversation #1: Mentoring partners often jump into mentoring too soon and fail to take the necessary time to get to know one another. When mentoring partners spend time to build their relationship by engaging in real conversation, they are better able to establish the high level of trust that is critical for learning and growth.
Conversation #2: Once trust has been established, it is time to decide how to structure your mentoring relationship and your meetings so that you stay on track. By proactively talking about ground rules, confidentiality, hot buttons and boundaries, mentoring partners avoid problems along the way.
Conversation #3: A robust series of conversations about the mentee’s goals is often more important than the process of formally defining them. Through conversation an effective mentor facilitates mentee understanding about his or her needs and the areas of potential growth necessary to meet those goals.
Conversation #4: Once goals have been identified, it’s time to talk about how to achieve them. This is accomplished by identifying learning opportunities to support and challenge the mentee — to encourage a mentee to stretch and stand outside his or her comfort zone. This where true growth and development occur.
Conversation #5: Along the way, there may be stumbling blocks that get in the way of the relationship. Holding a conversation to address them as soon as they occur keeps the focus on progress and forward movement.
Conversation #6: The three-month milestone is ideal for holding a two-way feedback check-in conversation. By addressing meaty questions (i.e., “What has been the biggest learning to date? What are we doing that is providing value? What is working and what could be better?”) both mentor and mentee receive feedback that enables them to elevate their individual skills.
You won’t want to miss our day-long conference, Making Mentoring Matter: Strategies and Tools for Individual Development and Organizational Effectiveness on Wednesday. May 4, 2016 in Bellevue, WA., where Lory Fischler will be presenting a workshop entitled “Starting Strong: The First 90 Days.”
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Mar 2, 2016 | Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Relationships, Uncategorized
The idea of inserting accountability into a mentoring relationship may seem unnecessary. And yet, unless you build in a process to ensure accountability, there is always a temptation to sidestep it.
When mutual accountability becomes an ongoing expectation in a mentoring relationship it creates a shared frame of reference. It strengthens the relationship by improving communication and avoiding mentoring pitfalls. It enables partners to make midcourse corrections.
When mentoring partners engage in regular conversations about their mentoring relationship, it maintains the momentum of the relationship and contributes value to the learning of each mentoring partner.
Accountability conversations need not be cumbersome, but they should be held regularly, whether it is once a month or every quarter. If your relationship seems to be going well, checking in on its health will help ensure that you and your mentoring partner’s need are being met. At the same time, accountability conversations can assist you in gauging your progress over time and help you decide what you steps you can take to grow and improve your relationship.
We’ve developed a Mentoring Partner Check-In Accountability Tool to guide regular accountability conversations.You and your mentoring partner can complete this tool independently and then compare your responses. Or, you and your mentoring partner can complete this tool together.
You and your mentor should plan to use this tool periodically to ensure that you are staying on track. And, even if you haven’t agreed to do so initially, feel free to introduce this tool to your mentor partner at any time during your mentoring relationship. This may prove especially helpful if you suspect that your meeting time could be better utilized and you aren’t comfortable raising the issue with your mentor.
Use the Mentoring Partnership Check-In Accountability Tool throughout your relationship to make sure you stay on track and the trust level remains high.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Feb 18, 2016 | Mentoring Relationships, Uncategorized
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, here’s our mentoring ten top list for the month of February.
#10 Revisit, refine and recommit to your development goals.
#9 Check in with your mentoring partner to evaluate progress.
#8 Pay attention to both what is said and what is not said.
#7 Balance care and compassion when giving hard feedback.
#6 Keep an open mind when receiving feedback.
#5 Challenge your mentee with a stretch project or assignment.
#4 Explore areas of diversity and difference.
#3 Listen twice as much as you speak.
#2 Ask probing questions rather than giving answers.
#1 Get out of your comfort zone and try something new.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Feb 11, 2016 | Making Mentoring Work For You, Uncategorized
Mentoring success depends on the degree to which mentoring partners roll up their sleeves and do the work. Yes, we said, “work.” Throughout your mentoring relationship, you and your mentoring partner need to be fully engaged in building and strengthening your relationship and focused on achieving your mentoring goals.
Mentoring Works Best When Mentees….
- Assume responsibility for their learning, growth, and development
- Set goals
- Hold themselves accountable for agreements
- Monitor their progress regularly
- Maintain receptivity to new, creative, and alternative strategies and ideas
- Are honest, open and willing to be vulnerable
- Communicate regularly
- Are prepared for and open to feedback
Mentoring Works Best When Mentors….
- Commit the time
- Build their relationship up front
- Ask questions rather than to try and solve a mentee’s problems
- Push and challenge their mentee
- Share experiences and challenges
- Offer options rather than answers
- Provide honest, ongoing, and candid feedback with care and compassion
- Maintain regular contact
