by Lisa Z. Fain | May 30, 2024 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Goal Setting Conversation, Growth and Development, Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Questions, Mentoring Relationships, Supporting Mentors and Mentees
The best mentor-mentee relationships thrive on curiosity and powerful questions. Mentors should resist the urge to “fix” problems and avoid prescribing specific actions. Mentees should focus less on being who they think their mentor wants and more on approaching interactions with a willingness to learn, grow, and discover how to think.
I am always seeking great questions to facilitate these interactions. Recently, I discovered three excellent questions while listening to the audiobook Clear Thinking* by Shane Parrish. Parrish suggests that when seeking advice, your goal should be to understand how the other person thinks, not just what they think. Although his book is not specifically about mentoring, the questions he proposes can be highly beneficial for both mentees and mentors.
Questions Mentees can ask their Mentors
Mentees might ask….
1. What variables would you consider if you were in my shoes?
How do these variables relate to one another?
2. What do you know about this problem that I don’t?
What can you see based on your experience that someone without it cannot?
What do you know that most people don’t?
3. What would your process be for making this decision if you were in my shoes?
Questions Mentors can ask their Mentees
These questions are also valuable for mentors. Instead of offering solutions or suggestions, mentors can prompt their mentees to reflect by asking:
1. What variables in this decision are important to you?
Who else or what else does this decision impact?
2. What are you most worried about in making this decision?
What possibility excites you the most?
3. What have you tried so far?
What do you think is the best process for this decision?
These questions encourage reflection and empower mentees to solve both the current problem they are facing and future problems. They also enable mentees to develop authentic solutions that fit their unique needs, values, and learning styles.
What questions have you used to encourage clear thinking in your mentoring relationships?
*Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish: (Farnam Street, 2023, ISBN: 0593086112)
by Lisa Z. Fain | Apr 26, 2021 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Growth and Development, Mentoring Communication, Supporting Mentors and Mentees, Uncategorized
We often default to negative thinking. “What’s wrong?” “How can we fix this problem?” Stop thinking in terms of deficit, and instead focus on discovery, dream, and design.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | May 10, 2019 | Advice for Leaders, Mentoring Relationships, Supporting Mentors and Mentees
Mentorship and the Importance of Story. By: Sarah Haggard
I’ve always been a storyteller. Stories entertain. They make us laugh. They make us cry. They remind us of our humanness, and leave us feeling raw and inspired all at once. They are the keepers of ancient wisdom, our legacy, and cultures all around the world. Stories hold tremendous power. We’ve all walked out of a movie hiding tears of sorrow at a story well told. Binged a Netflix series or finished a good book, and mourned it’s end. Our souls deeply moved, called into action.
So what does storytelling have to do with mentorship?
The origin of the word mentor comes from one of the great stories ever told, Odysseys. Mentor was Odysseys “wise and trusted advisor.” Today, mentors are in more demand than ever. We all want a sage advisor to turn to when the going gets tough. The challenge is, wisdom isn’t gained in the classroom nor in the boardroom; the places we most often look to for mentorship. Wisdom is gained from lived experiences, which are best told through stories.
Our age and years’ experience isn’t the sole indicator of wisdom either.
Some of us have lived a few lives over by the time we reach our twenties. While others are lucky enough to life a life of ease, privilege and stability. The truth is we’re only expert in our own life experiences, knowledge comes and goes. I lost my Mom at age 27. I mentor women in their 40s, 50s and 60s dealing with the loss of a parent because I understand grief, having lived through it. Developing the ability to narrate our life experiences using story is key to being able to mentor, or be a “wise and trusted advisor” for others.
So what can you do to become a wise and trusted advisor for someone else? The first step is to know your story. Here are five ways you can get started today.
1. Make a lifeline chart, plotting out the high and low moments in your life.
2. Make a list of common themes that emerge from that timeline.
3. Write your story, highlighting those key themes, in less than 1,000 words.
4. Practice telling your story.
5. Sign up to become a mentor, sharing your story and passion for mentoring others from your lived experiences.
In a world where mentors are in more demand than supply, getting to know your story is the greatest gift you can give someone else. It is also where you’ll find your greatest passion and purpose.
Sarah Haggard is the CEO and Founder of Tribute, a modern mentorship app for the workplace that connects employees together for mentorship through shared life experiences and stories. When not working, Sarah enjoys reading, writing, mentoring college students and spending time on her houseboat with friends and family in Seattle, WA.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Jun 30, 2018 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Growth and Development, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Questions, Mentoring Relationships, Mentoring Training, Supporting Mentors and Mentees
By The New York Times Kristin Wong June 12, 2018
Impostor syndrome is not a unique feeling, but some researchers believe it hits minority groups harder.
Last May, I walked into a room of impeccably dressed journalists at a media event in Los Angeles. I tugged on my pilly cardigan and patted down my frizzy bangs.
When a waiter presented a tray of sliced cucumbers and prosciutto and asked, “Crudité?” I resisted the temptation to shove three of them into my mouth and instead smiled and replied, “No, thank you.” I was focused on the task at hand: pretending not to be a fraud among this crowd of professionals.
Ironically, I was at the event to interview someone about impostor syndrome.
The psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes coined the term in 1978, describing it as “internal experience of intellectual phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” In other words, it’s that sinking sense that you are a fraud in your industry, role or position, regardless of your credibility, authority or accomplishments.
This is not a unique feeling, and it hits many of us at some point in our lives. But some researchers believe it hits minority groups harder, as a lack of representation can make minorities feel like outsiders, and discrimination creates even more stress and anxiety when coupled with impostorism, according to Kevin Cokley, a professor of educational psychology and African diaspora studies at the University of Texas at Austin.
Read the full article here.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Jun 30, 2018 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Growth and Development, Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Relationships, Mentoring Training, Supporting Mentors and Mentees
Posted by: Rick Turoczy (Originally published at siliconflorist.com on July 3, 2012)
Around the time PIE was starting the accelerator phase of this ongoing experiment, David Cohen, cofounder of TechStars, shared the TechStars Mentor Manifesto. And it served as an inspiration for me. A post by Micah Baldwin, a former TechStars mentor, provided a similar nudge for me.
I’m often reminded to go back and reread both of these posts and am inspired, again and again. So I thought I’d take the opportunity to augment the PIE mentor guidance a bit with some things that we’ve learned from observing PIE startups and mentors over the years.
We shared these tips with the PIE mentors and a few of them suggested we turn it into a blog post for the broader mentor community.
So we took that mentoring to heart.
If you’re thinking about becoming a mentor for startups — either in a formal accelerator program or independently — here are some tips for thinking about how to work with entrepreneurs.
Read on here for 10 tips for mentoring startups.
