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Have You Set the Right Tone for Mentoring Success?

Have You Set the Right Tone for Mentoring Success?

by | Mar 21, 2016 | Goal Setting Conversation, Growth and Development, Mentoring Relationships, Supporting Mentors and Mentees

The Importance of the First 90 Days

It’s a fact: The first 90 days sets the tone for your mentoring relationships! According to Lory Fischler, co-author of Starting Strong (Jossey-Bass 2014), “Many mentoring relationships don’t actually survive the three-month milestone. That’s because they start with good intention and energy but get derailed by lack of time, structure, purpose, progress and accountability.”

We’ve identified six essential conversations that we believe ought to take place during the first 90 days of a mentoring relationship to ensure that it starts strong and stays focused. These conversations set the tone for mentoring success.

Conversation #1: Mentoring partners often jump into mentoring too soon and fail to take the necessary time to get to know one another. When mentoring partners spend time to build their relationship by engaging in real conversation, they are better able to establish the high level of trust that is critical for learning and growth.

Conversation #2: Once trust has been established, it is time to decide how to structure your mentoring relationship and your meetings so that you stay on track. By proactively talking about ground rules, confidentiality, hot buttons and boundaries, mentoring partners avoid problems along the way.

Conversation #3: A robust series of conversations about the mentee’s goals is often more important than the process of formally defining them. Through conversation an effective mentor facilitates mentee understanding about his or her needs and the areas of potential growth necessary to meet those goals.

Conversation #4: Once goals have been identified, it’s time to talk about how to achieve them. This is accomplished by identifying learning opportunities to support and challenge the mentee — to encourage a mentee to stretch and stand outside his or her comfort zone. This where true growth and development occur.

Conversation #5: Along the way, there may be stumbling blocks that get in the way of the relationship. Holding a conversation to address them as soon as they occur keeps the focus on progress and forward movement.

Conversation #6: The three-month milestone is ideal for holding a two-way feedback check-in conversation. By addressing meaty questions (i.e., “What has been the biggest learning to date? What are we doing that is providing value? What is working and what could be better?”) both mentor and mentee receive feedback that enables them to elevate their individual skills.

You won’t want to miss our day-long conference, Making Mentoring Matter: Strategies and Tools for Individual Development and Organizational Effectiveness on Wednesday. May 4, 2016 in Bellevue, WA., where Lory Fischler will be presenting a workshop entitled “Starting Strong: The First 90 Days.”

Accountability and Successful Mentoring Go Hand in Hand

Accountability and Successful Mentoring Go Hand in Hand

by | Mar 2, 2016 | Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Relationships, Uncategorized

The idea of inserting accountability into a mentoring relationship may seem unnecessary. And yet, unless you build in a process to ensure accountability, there is always a temptation to sidestep it.

When mutual accountability becomes an ongoing expectation in a mentoring relationship it creates a shared frame of reference. It strengthens the relationship by improving communication and avoiding mentoring pitfalls. It enables partners to make midcourse corrections.

When mentoring partners engage in regular conversations about their mentoring relationship, it maintains the momentum of the relationship and contributes value to the learning of each mentoring partner.

Accountability conversations need not be cumbersome, but they should be held regularly, whether it is once a month or every quarter. If your relationship seems to be going well, checking in on its health will help ensure that you and your mentoring partner’s need are being met. At the same time, accountability conversations can assist you in gauging your progress over time and help you decide what you steps you can take to grow and improve your relationship.

 

We’ve developed a Mentoring Partner Check-In Accountability Tool to guide regular accountability conversations.You and your mentoring partner can complete this tool independently and then compare your responses. Or, you and your mentoring partner can complete this tool together.

You and your mentor should plan to use this tool periodically to ensure that you are staying on track.  And, even if you haven’t agreed to do so initially, feel free to introduce this tool to your mentor partner at any time during your mentoring relationship.  This may prove especially helpful if you suspect that your meeting time could be better utilized and you aren’t comfortable raising the issue with your mentor.

Use the Mentoring Partnership Check-In Accountability Tool throughout your relationship to make sure you stay on track and the trust level remains high.

 

 

 

February Top Ten

February Top Ten

by | Feb 18, 2016 | Mentoring Relationships, Uncategorized

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, here’s our mentoring ten top list for the month of February.

 

#10 Revisit, refine and recommit to your development goals.

#9 Check in with your mentoring partner to evaluate progress.February Calendar

#8 Pay attention to both what is said and what is not said.

#7 Balance care and compassion when giving hard feedback.

#6 Keep an open mind when receiving feedback.

#5 Challenge your mentee with a stretch project or assignment.

#4 Explore areas of diversity and difference.

#3 Listen twice as much as you speak.

#2 Ask probing questions rather than giving answers.

#1 Get out of your comfort zone and try something new.

7 Mentoring Lessons from Shark Tank

7 Mentoring Lessons from Shark Tank

by | Dec 11, 2015 | Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Relationships

While you may not have seen Shark Tank on TV, chances are you’ve heard of it.

In each episode, would-be entrepreneurs who have struggled for years to get their product or idea to market enter the “shark tank” where they meet a panel of potential investors, called “Sharks” who will help them realize their dreams . . . for a price.

Each entrepreneur has 2-3 minutes to convince five savvy Sharks that their product and passion is worthy of investment, time and financial support. Having a Shark on their team may position them to capture the attention of big retailers like Walmart or Costco and give them access to a huge customer base. It is no wonder that an entrepreneur gains confidence and renewed energy with a Shark on their team.

During each 30-minute episode of Shark Tank, the Sharks challenge each entrepreneur. They ask probing questions. How contestants respond offers keen insights and important messages about what you need to do to be successful as a mentee.

The Seven Lessons:

1.     It isn’t enough to have an ambition or a dream. Sharks are interested in more than just a good idea. They are investing in you as much as they are in your product. It is your drive and passion that will make a difference.

Mentoring message:  To enlist the support of a high-powered successful mentor, demonstrate passion and energy for your career growth and development.

2.     Successful entrepreneurs craft concrete business plans that create and grow market share. Sharks are tenacious in dissecting plans to ensure they are realistic and are likely to succeed.

Mentoring message:  Mentoring is more than interesting conversation about an idea. Mentors deepen their investment in you when they see you have a plan and make steady progress towards achieving concrete results.

3.     Sharks are tough.  They ask hard questions and expect answers.  They expect their time to be well spent and rewarded.

Mentoring message:  Do your homework and come prepared.  You need to be primed for meetings with your mentor.

4.     Swimming with sharks is not for the faint of heart.  You may hope to hear praise, but expect honest and straightforward feedback that will make your idea better.

Mentoring message:  Mentors provide support and frank and candid feedback that you may receive in your work world.  Embrace it.  Act on it.

5.     A good idea can be easily dismissed if it doesn’t catch the Sharks’ attention.  Polish and presence sell an idea.  If you lack confidence or good presentation skills, you won’t get very far.

Mentoring message:  Presence is an important quality for leadership success. Mentors and others gravitate to people who articulate ideas in a persuasive way.  Work on your communication skills.

6.     Sharks can offer three things: money, access to markets and business acumen.  They aren’t going to run your company or tell you what to do to be successful.  Ultimately, you are in the driver’s seat.

Mentoring message:  Mentors aren’t going to tell you what to do either.  They can help you expand your network and perspective, but it is up to you to drive your direction and do the work.

7.     When Sharks make a deal, they celebrate the agreement.  They hug. They shake hands.  They end on a high note.

Mentoring message:  Take time to celebrate and show appreciation. Showing emotion and enthusiasm is part of the special relationship between mentors and mentees.

Action Item: Try watching Shark Tank to see what you learn!

What’s Your Story?

What’s Your Story?

by | Aug 4, 2015 | Facilitating Learning, Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Relationships

 

“A story is the shortest distance between two people.”

— Pat Speith

Sharing personal stories, successes and challenges serves multiple purposes in a mentoring relationship.

  • Stories build trust, keep a mentoring relationship real, create a comfort level, and give your mentee “permission” to share their own.

Hearing stories about your career and personal challenges provides a powerful impetus for mentees to take action.

  • Your setbacks remind them that successful people do face and overcome roadblocks.

By sharing strategies for solving problems and dealing with adversity your mentee learns from your experience.

  • According to psychologist Uri Hasson, “Anything you’ve experienced, you can get others to experience the same.” People accept ideas more readily when their minds are in story mode.

Telling your stories and sharing your learning demonstrates openness and respect, and builds trust.

  • It creates points of connection, a shared language, and grist for ongoing conversation.

Your story motivates mentee self-reflection.

  • It activates their brain cells, stimulates critical and creative thinking, and increases their self-awareness.

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 So, what is your story?

How can you tell it in such a way that it invites conversation, reflection and learning?

Encourage your mentees to share their stories by:

1.      Sharing yours

2.      Thinking, in advance, about what you really want to know about them

3.      Asking specific questions to encourage them to reflect on their career path, specific experiences, previous successes, and work projects

4.      Listening closely to what they say, how they say it, and the words they use to describe their experiences

5.      Asking probing questions to encourage them to reflect on the lessons they have learned from their stories

Top 10 Best Practices for Mentors

by | Apr 28, 2015 | Growth and Development, Making Mentoring Work For You, Mentoring Relationships

 

Our recent annual Mentoring Matters Reader Survey revealed dozens of best practice topics. This blog is the first in our series of mentoring best practice posts soon to follow.  Based on our survey results, here are the top ten:

  1. Start by getting to know your mentee
    • Make sure you take time to get to know your mentee before you jump into the work of mentoring. Nothing of substance will happen until you establish a trusting relationship.
  1. Establish working agreements
    • Agreements lay the foundation of a mentoring relationship. Build in basic structures about how you will work together moving forward. Make sure you and your mentee agree on ground rules.
  1. Focus on developing robust learning goals
    • The purpose of mentoring is to learn. Learning is also the payoff. Make sure the mentee’s learning goals are worthy of your time and effort. Developing robust learning goals takes time and good conversation.
  1. Balance talking and listening
    • It’s easy and natural to want to give advice, especially because you’ve “been there and done that.” But mentees want more than good advice. They want you to listen to their ideas as much as they want to hear what you have to say.
  1. Ask questions rather than give answers
    • Take the time to draw out a mentee’s thinking and get them to reflect on their own experience. Ask probing questions that encourage them to come up with their own insights.
  1. Engage in meaningful and authentic conversation
    • Strive to go deeper than surface conversation. Share your own successes and failures as well as what you are learning from your current mentoring relationship.
  1. Check out assumptions and hunches
    • If you sense something is missing or not going well, you are probably right. Address issues as soon as possible. Simply stating, “I want to check out my assumption which is … ” will prevent you from assuming your mentee is on track.
  1. Support and challenge your mentee
    • Work on creating a comfortable relationship first before you launch into the uncomfortable stretch needed for deep learning. Mentees need to feel supported (comfortable) and yet be challenged (a little uncomfortable) in order to grow and develop.
  1. Set the expectation of two-way feedback
    • Candid feedback is a powerful trigger for growth and change. Set the expectation early on. Be prepared to offer candid feedback, balanced with compassion. Model how to ask for and receive good feedback by asking your mentee for specific feedback on your own mentoring contribution.
  2. Check in regularly to stay on track
    • Keep connected and develop a pattern of regular engagement. Both partners need to be accountable for following through with agreements. By holding an open, honest conversation about how you’re doing and what you need to do to improve, you encourage mutual accountability and deepen the relationship.

What do you think? Did we miss any best practices? Let us know!

Keep a lookout for our next blog later this month, Top Ten Best Practices for Mentees.