by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Jun 30, 2018 | Advice for Leaders, Facilitating Learning, Growth and Development, Mentoring Communication, Mentoring Questions, Mentoring Relationships, Mentoring Training, Supporting Mentors and Mentees
By The New York Times Kristin Wong June 12, 2018
Impostor syndrome is not a unique feeling, but some researchers believe it hits minority groups harder.
Last May, I walked into a room of impeccably dressed journalists at a media event in Los Angeles. I tugged on my pilly cardigan and patted down my frizzy bangs.
When a waiter presented a tray of sliced cucumbers and prosciutto and asked, “Crudité?” I resisted the temptation to shove three of them into my mouth and instead smiled and replied, “No, thank you.” I was focused on the task at hand: pretending not to be a fraud among this crowd of professionals.
Ironically, I was at the event to interview someone about impostor syndrome.
The psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes coined the term in 1978, describing it as “internal experience of intellectual phoniness in people who believe that they are not intelligent, capable or creative despite evidence of high achievement.” In other words, it’s that sinking sense that you are a fraud in your industry, role or position, regardless of your credibility, authority or accomplishments.
This is not a unique feeling, and it hits many of us at some point in our lives. But some researchers believe it hits minority groups harder, as a lack of representation can make minorities feel like outsiders, and discrimination creates even more stress and anxiety when coupled with impostorism, according to Kevin Cokley, a professor of educational psychology and African diaspora studies at the University of Texas at Austin.
Read the full article here.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Sep 27, 2017
Do any of these resonate with you?
- I have ridden the current of life for so long and done what is necessary, not what I want — I ended up with a life that is just good, not great.
- There are so many things that are important and URGENT, my self-care and self-discovery don’t ever make the list. I know what needs to be done, but I can’t get out of my own way to make it happen.
- I have so many ideas of what I want to do, but I am afraid that if I choose to do something that is meaningful and fulfilling, I won’t be able to meet my family’s financial needs.
- It is very hard for me to enjoy all the good things in my life. I used to know what I wanted to do, but I no longer feel connected to those ideas.
- I‘m so good at taking care of everything and everyone else — my job, my family, my spouse, my friends. I miss “me” and I’m not sure how to find it.
If you found yourself nodding in agreement with these statements, you are not alone. I hear these from women all the time and I experienced many of them myself. I created the Live by Design Success Group for you.
What would it feel like for this year to be THE year that you get out of your own way and create a great life that is meaningful and fulfilling?
How would it feel to look back on this year and know you have made measurable strides forward towards living your best life?
What would it be like to know you have a group of ROCKSTAR women who understand you, have your back and are holding you up in the direction of your dreams?
Imagine celebrating all your achievements at a beautiful retreat and spa, in the company of this community and looking back with pride at what you have accomplished, and looking forward with a sense of enthusiasm and anticipation on what you will create for yourself next.
This is where the Live by Design Success Group comes in.
What is it?
The Live by Design Success Group is an application-only, elite coaching group for 8-10 women who are looking to connect with their true purpose, live intentionally and achieve measurable results through inspired action in the current year and beyond.
We meet bi-monthly for six months to help you discover and design your ideal life.
Participants will create inspired action in three categories:
- SELF — health/body/mind/wellness
- CONNECTION — relationships with family, spouse/partner, children, community, friends
- CONTRIBUTION — career, business, volunteer, etc.
In September 2018 (date TBD) participants will meet for a CELEBRATION RETREAT at a destination spa. We will connect, be pampered and enjoy the beauty of this amazing place as we celebrate our achievements and look forward to what we can accomplish next.
Here’s what you’ll gain from this program:
- Feeling in Control of Your Life. Getting back behind the wheel of your life.
- Clarity. Learn your vision, mission, purpose.
- Vision. Identify your best life.
- A Path Forward. Design and build a life you love.
- Community. Form a community of women who will help keep you accountable.
- Confidence. Gain confidence that you can achieve your ideal life in a way that is joyful and straightforward.
- Results. You’ll identify measurable, inspired action steps that will lead to real results.
- Sense of Accomplishment. Identify meaningful accomplishments that move you towards your vision.
- Tools and Resources to Set You up for Success. You’ll learn tools to help with decision-making, forward movement and creating meaning in our six months together and beyond.
So much content! Here’s what this program consists of:
- Bi-weekly, content-rich group coaching sessions that meet virtually on Monday nights from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. PST/8:30 p.m. to 10 p.m. EST by Zoom Conference. Save these dates: 2018 dates TBD
- Monthly meetings with a small accountability group of 2-3 of your peers in the group.
- Six (6) one-on-one 55-minute coaching sessions with me, Lisa Fain, group facilitator and founder of Vista Coaching and Vice President of the Center for Mentoring Excellence, a division of Leadership Development Services. (1 per month)
- Celebration Retreat at a destination resort and spa in September 2018.
- Membership in a private Facebook group, where you will receive guidance, tips and inspiration, and get support from your fellow group members.
- Special treats along the way!
APPLY HERE for the next group, beginning March 2018!
Who this is for:
- Rockstar women who want the most out of life and are willing to do the work to have a life they love.
- Smart women who are committed to creating community and supporting others.
- Busy women who have so many balls in the air that they are eager to be more proactive with how they shape their life.
Who this is not for:
- Anyone looking for a quick-fix, cookie-cutter approach.
- Someone who is not willing to commit to showing up or supporting other group members.
- Someone who would prefer to “go it alone.”
Prerequisites:
- Attend the Celebration Retreat in September 2018.
- Attend 80% of the group calls and follow up on those you cannot attend.
- Have a reliable Internet connection to participate in bi-monthly video calls.
- Do the work!
- Support others in the group.
- Ask for what you need!
Fast forward to September 2018. Imagine sitting by the pool at a beautiful mountain resort, after a gratifying hike, pampering massage or laughs with friends. As you absorb this beautiful space and look back over the last six months, you’ll be amazed at the many things you have accomplished, feeling connected to your purpose and on track towards your BEST LIFE!
It IS possible, and I’d love to help you get there!
What are you willing to invest to create a life you love?
What does it mean to have a group of women who will support and guide you as you achieve your goals this year and beyond?
How valuable is it to you to have a wise coach who will guide you with encouragement, tough questions and a gentle kick in the rear?
Can you imagine your sense of satisfaction and accomplishment as you enjoy an unforgettable spa and resort experience where you can celebrate, renew, connect and get inspired to build upon the success you have achieved?
Your Coach:
The Live By Design Success Group is led by me, Lisa Fain, Founder and Life Coach at Vista Coaching and Vice President of the Center for Mentoring Excellence, a division of Leadership Development Services. I’m a life coach with a knack for warmth, wisdom and practicality. I provide support, encouragement and a healthy kick-in-the-rear to catapult my clients towards their best lives. I love creating community and connections that lift women up and help them discover the great lives they deserve so they can use their own lives to make an imprint on the world. Over the last ten years, I’ve transformed my own life from “good enough” to one I love. I can’t wait to help you do the same.
Your Investment:
Your investment of $5,000 in the Live By Design Success Group includes:
- Each month:
- Two (2) 90-minute virtual group coaching calls (12 total)
- One (1) 55-minute 1-on-1 coaching session with Lisa Fain per month (6 total)
- One (1) small group accountability call (6 total)
- Membership in Live by Design Success Group private Facebook group
- Journal
- Special surprise treats sent to you throughout the program
- Homework, exercises, toolkit
- Cost of Celebration Retreat:
- Four (4) days, three (3) nights at a destination resort
- Breakfast, lunch and dinner each day
- Transportation to/from spa and airport
- All Live By Design group organized activities (these may include, but are not limited to, a group hike, yoga/tai chi class, guided trip to nearby scenic location, special customized spa experience)
This does not include:
- Travel insurance
- Flights/transportation
- Additional (non-group) spa treatments or activities at the resort
The Live by Design Success Group starts March 2018 and is by application only. APPLY HERE NOW!
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | Nov 24, 2015 | Making Mentoring Work For You
Thanksgiving brings to mind images of family and friends gathered together around a festive table.
Most likely, the people sitting around your table, like those around ours, are catching up on what happened since they were together last Thanksgiving. They will be telling stories about what is happening right now, and perhaps reflecting on some special event or person or something they’ve been struggling with over the past year.
A mentoring roundtable is similar to traditional Thanksgiving gatherings in some ways and different in others. It is similar in that it creates an opportunity to share experiences and tell stories. Mentoring program participants sit around a table sharing stories about how their mentoring relationships are going, talking about what they’ve accomplished since they’ve last met, and exchanging best mentoring practices. It differs from traditional Thanksgiving gatherings in that mentors and mentees create their own community where they meet separately without mentoring partners present to openly share and confidentially discuss their mentoring experiences. It also differs in that conversation is led by a facilitator to encourage full and free flowing participation and to ensure that that no one dominates the conversation.
What can you learn from attending a Mentoring Roundtable?
Mentors and mentees always walk away from roundtables with “aha” moments, new insights, learning, and answers to mentoring questions. Here are three learning takeaways we hear from mentors and mentees.
“We are not as far behind as I thought.” In a formal mentoring program, it is common for mentors and mentees to wonder if and how they measuring up against other mentoring pairs. Many fear their progress is lagging behind other mentoring pairs or they assume others sail smoothly while they struggle. When they discover others are facing similar problems and have similar concerns, it is a relief and an impetus to keep moving forward.
“Oh, so that’s what a good goal looks like.” Identifying SMART goals that make a difference in a mentee’s growth and development is one of the most challenging tasks for mentors and mentees face. Creating SMART goals takes time and effort. The mentoring roundtable provides an opportunity for mentors to determine if mentee goals are on track and sufficiently challenging. In the process, they learn about t multiple success strategies they can adapt to support and bolster their mentee’s growth and development. The mentoring roundtable also provides an opportunity for mentees to learn about goals that their peers are working on and to find out how they are handling the challenge of balancing day to day work while pursuing their developmental goals. Listening to others pushes mentees to clarify or expand their own goals.
“Wow, that’s something I never thought of doing.” Participation in a roundtable stretches everyone. Hearing about a successful approach one mentor is successfully using encourages others to adopt new or similar approaches. Mentors who struggle with a specific problem find solutions from coworkers who have already faced the problem and overcome it. Mentees benefit from hearing other mentees talk about strategies they are using to deepen the level of conversation with their mentor or to drive the relationship forward. One mentee’s story about stepping out of their comfort zone can inspire others to do likewise, thus giving them confidence to try something new or to expand mentoring skills.
Talking Turkey
A mentoring roundtable creates a learning community that enables everyone who participates to learn successful strategies and stay on track throughout the lifecycle of a formal mentoring relationship. They provide a comfortable space and place to talk turkey, to speak openly and to enhance everyone’s learning.
by Center for Mentoring Excellence | May 15, 2015 | Facilitating Learning
We recently talked about the top ten best practices for mentors. But what about the mentees? Don’t worry, we have you covered!
Here are top ten mentee best practices from our 2015 Mentoring Matters Reader Survey:
1. Focus on achieving learning goals
- Learning is the purpose and the payoff of mentoring. It’s easy to get sidetracked and lose focus. After three cups of coffee and little work on leadership development, mentoring fizzles out. Goals help you stay focused, moving in a positive direction, and benchmark your progress.
2. Expect to drive the mentoring relationship
- Mentors are not mind readers. Be prepared to ask for what you need, when you need it. They won’t know what you need unless you tell them.
3. Create SMART goals that will contribute to your development
- Fuzzy goals result in fuzzy outcomes. Make sure your goals are crystal clear to you and your mentor. Goals need to be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.
4. Be authentic, open and honest
- Your willingness to be vulnerable makes a significant difference in your growth and development. If you pretend that all is perfect, your mentor will never get to know the real you, and you will miss out on real learning opportunities.
5. Prepare for all mentoring meetings
- Advance preparation for mentoring sessions will save time, make meetings more efficient and result in more meaningful learning.
6. Stay connected and in communication with your mentor
- Utilize multiple ways to stay connected to your mentor. Regular and consistent communication is the name of the game, whether it’s face-to-face, email, Skype or telephone calls, the operative word is “and.”
7. Be willing to stretch and step out of your comfort zone
- Expect your mentor to challenge you with questions and learning opportunities that might take you outside your comfort zone. They may initially make you uncomfortable, but the stretch is what will maximize your learning.
8. Ask for specific feedback
- Your mentor’s honest and candid feedback will contribute to your self-awareness and get you to the next level. Practice asking for specific feedback and be prepared to receive it without being defensive. Share feedback with your mentor and act on what you hear.
9. Focus on the future
- It’s easy to get bogged down in day-to-day issues instead of focusing on your future. Keep in mind that mentoring creates momentum towards your future development. Be prepared to articulate your vision for yourself so that you and your mentor can create strategies for your future success.
10. Keep a journal
- You will want to make notes of conversations that reflect your learning, and also track your mentoring progress. A journal is a great place to record insights and questions in preparation for mentoring meetings. Although keeping a journal requires discipline and practice, it’s well worth the effort.
If you have other best practices that you’d like to add, please let us know!
