The AWE Question: How Wonder Opens Better Mentoring Conversations

Have you ever been struck by something outside yourself that filled you with a sense of awe?

For me, it happens in the middle of ordinary moments. Like this: I might be driving down I-90, thinking about my day, when I glance up and see that, as we say around here, “the mountain is out.” There’s Mt. Rainier in the distance, vast and luminous against the sky.

And suddenly, the short winter days in Seattle feel like a fair trade. The rain, the gray, the early darkness all fade into the background. And in the summer, when daylight stretches late into the evening, the mountain feels like icing on the cake, an invitation to squeeze in a weeknight hike and still make it home before dark.

It feels breathtaking. At once calming and invigorating. It takes me out of my head and away from my thoughts. It makes me more present and helps me feel part of something grander than myself.

That is what awe can do.

It pulls our attention beyond the tight circle of our own concerns so that we pay attention instead to what is in front of us.

When we are no longer focused only on ourselves, we become more available to wonder. Wonder is what happens when we pause long enough to notice that there is more here than we first understood. It does not rush to categorize, solve, or control. It lingers. It looks again.

And in that looking again, wonder becomes a doorway to curiosity.

Curiosity is wonder put into motion. It asks: What else is here? What else might be true? What else have I not yet seen?

That same spirit belongs in our mentoring conversations.

Michael Bungay Stanier popularized one of the simplest and most powerful coaching questions in The Coaching Habit: “And what else?” He calls it the AWE Question. It is a memorable acronym for a deceptively small question, one that asks us to stay curious a little longer before advising, solving, interpreting, or steering. It’s a great question for coaching, and for mentoring.

In mentoring, the first answer is often the polished answer. The practiced answer. The answer the mentee gives because it is the one most available to them in the moment. “And what else?” gently opens another door. It says, “I’m still with you. I’m still interested. There may be more here.

Research supports this intuition. In a recent article in The Chronicle of Evidence-Based Mentoring, Jean Rhodes summarized research on listening, curiosity, and connection in mentoring relationships. One key finding: follow-up questions are not conversational filler. They are among the most reliable predictors of connection. Studies cited in the article link thoughtful follow-up questions to greater liking, perceived responsiveness, trust, autonomy, relatedness, and willingness to disclose again in the future.

In other words, curiosity is not simply a nice mentoring quality. It is a relational behavior people can feel.

This is powerful because mentoring is not merely the transfer of advice from someone more experienced to someone less experienced. At its best, mentoring helps people hear themselves think. It helps them locate their own judgment, name their own desires, and see possibilities they might otherwise miss.

A mentor who moves too quickly to advice may miss the deeper layer.

A mentor who stays curious can help the mentee find it.

And what else?” gives that deeper truth room to emerge.

A mentee can also use the question for themselves: “What else might be possible here?

The question is not only useful inside a formal mentoring relationship. Moving Beyond Mentoring, “And what else” is a great question to ask ourselves when we think about our developmental networks – the relationships we need to help us, and others, grow). In a developmental network, growth does not come from one wise person with all the answers. It comes from a web of relationships that help us see more fully. Curiosity activates that web. It helps us ask better questions of peers, sponsors, managers, colleagues, direct reports, friends, and even ourselves.

Within mentoring, the AWE Question deepens the conversation.

Beyond mentoring, it becomes a way of moving through the world.

It asks: What else is true here? What else might be possible? What else am I not seeing? Who else might help me grow?

The next time you feel the urge to give advice, pause.

Let wonder do its quiet work.

Then ask: “And what else?

View of Mt Rainier from freeway

Are Books Dead? Or Are We (Finally) Rethinking How Humans Learn?

When I asked Ori Brafman, professor at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business, what questions he had been wrestling with lately, he wondered aloud about the future of books in a world where learning is increasingly interactive and relational.

The inquiry stopped me cold. Because I love books.

Fiction and nonfiction. Memoir, business, romance, historical novels. I surround myself with them. I read them, recommend them, and keep stacks within reach. Even unread books bring me comfort. They represent possibility and ideas waiting to be explored.

It prompted my reflection on a deeper question: Does the architecture of learning that books represent still match how people learn today?

Many of the learning formats we rely on were designed for a different era. Long readings, lectures, and traditional training modules often fail to engage modern learners. This shows up in classrooms and workplaces alike. Organizations invest heavily in training content, yet participation and retention remain stubbornly low.

Shrinking attention spans and digital distraction are common explanations. Those factors play a role. But they miss the deeper issue. The challenge is how we design learning.

Many learning systems still prioritize the transfer of information. The modern workplace increasingly demands something more: discernment, perspective, and judgment.

The challenge is no longer access to knowledge. It is making sense of it. When learning systems fail to support that work, organizations face a costly consequence: human potential that remains underdeveloped and underutilized.

For much of the last century, formal learning followed a familiar pattern: read the material, listen to the lecture, absorb the framework. The learner sits outside the knowledge, looking in.

Historically, humans learned differently. Learning happened through apprenticeship, storytelling, observation, experimentation, and conversation. Knowledge was experienced in context rather than delivered at a distance.

Learning was immersive.

This insight aligns with decades of research on adult learning. Malcolm Knowles argued that adults learn most effectively when learning is self-directed, relevant to real problems, and immediately applicable (Knowles, Holton & Swanson, 2015). David Kolb’s experiential learning model similarly emphasizes cycles of experience, reflection, and experimentation (Kolb, 1984).

Yet many modern learning environments continue to rely on lectures, readings, and static content. Traditional formats often conflict with what research shows about how adults learn.

Relationships create immersion every day.

In my work helping organizations design mentoring and learning ecosystems, mentoring is frequently misunderstood as advice or knowledge transfer. A more experienced professional shares what they know, and the mentee applies it.

But mentoring at its best does something deeper. It allows people to step inside another person’s thinking, experience, and judgment.

Knowledge transfer builds knowledge. Development builds discernment.

That distinction matters more than ever because information is abundant. Books, courses, podcasts, and digital tools can deliver knowledge instantly.

The harder task is interpretation.

The current debate about artificial intelligence often centers on whether technology weakens our ability to think. A more productive question is how these tools might deepen thinking. AI can surface perspectives, questions, and patterns we might not encounter on our own. The interpretation and judgment that follow remain fundamentally human work.

That work happens best through conversation and connection.

Generational shifts make this even more visible. Younger professionals have grown up in environments shaped by interaction, rapid feedback, and social learning. Dialogue and collaboration are natural modes of learning.

Yet many organizations still rely on static learning models designed for a different era.
If learning is going to engage people, the answer is not simply more content.

The answer is better-designed learning ecosystems.

In those ecosystems, content provides ideas. Technology expands exploration. Relationships create the space where ideas become insight.

Developmental networks – the constellation of people who challenge us, support us, and expand our perspective – become the engine of learning.

Here is where I’ve landed on Ori’s provocative question:

  • Books still matter – but learning systems built around content alone cannot produce the kind of growth and transformation organizations need.
  • The future of learning must be more immersive, more relational, and more intentionally designed.
  • In our modern era, books spark ideas. They fuel curiosity. They introduce us to new ways of seeing the world.

Learning takes hold somewhere else.

It happens in relationships. Through action. Through the messy work of testing ideas, applying them, and rolling up our sleeves to engage with them in practice.
That is where discernment develops and where growth happens.

That’s why the future of learning will belong to organizations that intentionally design environments where people can engage with ideas together. 

Civility
What We Learned From the UN Women’s Mentoring Program in Cairo

What We Learned From the UN Women’s Mentoring Program in Cairo

In September we had the privilege of working with UN Women as it launched its first formal leadership development mentoring program in Cairo, Egypt. Participants from the Ivory Coast, Egypt, Uganda, Moldova, Albania, Liberia, South Africa, Rwanda, New Delhi, Istanbul, Santo Domingo, Panama, Brussels, Copenhagen and Geneva joined us for the mentoring kickoff training.

UN Women mentees volunteered for this global initiative for a variety of reasons: They were looking to invest in their own development and take their leadership to the next level. They wanted career guidance. And they wanted candid, safe feedback. These were the things they worked on — things that would really matter!

Like other mentees we’ve worked with, this team came to mentoring with the very same concerns and questions. They wondered:

  • Will I be worthy of a senior leader’s time?
  • Will I be able to accomplish enough during their mentoring timetable to make the investment valuable?
  • Will I feel comfortable and be able to build trust with a leader I don’t know?
  • Will the feedback I receive be confidential and useful?
  • Will my mentor have time in their demanding schedule to connect with me?

However, we did find some unique challenges for mentoring pairs in third-world countries, especially when trying to connect across time zones. Poor quality Internet service and gaps in time zones can make communication particularly difficult. Even so, mentoring has been value-added for these mentees, who say they appreciate the support provided by mentors and the opportunity mentoring gives them to reflect on themselves, their development and their future.

UN Women is the United Nations entity that promotes gender equality and the empowerment of women. Its Mentoring Program is designed to grow its workforce by giving mentees access to role models, tapping into networks and increasing visibility. It also helps mentors develop key leadership skills, giving them the opportunity to directly support the next generation of UN Women.

Pyramids and Sphinx